Paranormal Activity

So my brother and I decided to be a bit brave and venture off to Vaughn to watch a movie by the name of Paranormal Activity. I’ve included the trailer for it above which was the one I watched before I actually watched the film. This trailer made me jump out of my bed, literally. Mind you I was sitting on the edge of it. So you can imagine what I was like watching it in the movie theatres.

The characters Micha and Katie are being haunted by an entity that they have no control over. When the activity first started to happen Micha didn’t believe in ghosts or demons or that the noises they were hearing in the night belonged to any being but just squeaky floorboards and the like so he sets up a video camera to document what was happening and what they documented was absolutely terrifying.

Now before I go into the goods and the bads I have to admit I am terrified, completely terrified of anything to do with the paranormal. Give me a mean old mad that likes to slice peoples’ heads off with a jack hammer and I’ll laugh my ass off. I find human mortality very funny when it has to do with humans killing humans.  Demons, Ghosts, Aliens… anything weird and unexplainable scare the shit out of me and I think it has to do with the fact that I am a believer of spirits and ghosts and the likes. I’ve felt them before and I honesty believe in Aliens. As a Physics major I refuse to believe that as vast as the universe is, Earth is the only planet with life. I REFUSE to believe that! See humans that kill other humans have a choice and can stop when they want too and they are after all just humans. Demons on the other hand you have no control over. They can harm you and your loved ones over and over and over again, they can possess your body and force you to do anything they want and there’s nothing you can do about it. They won’t even let you die! They are the scariest concepts of beings ever and many of them look like this:

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SCARIEST SHIT EVER!!!

Anyway, Paranormal Activity feeds on this fear of the unknown, fear of not being in control, fear of demons/ghosts and fear of fear itself. Sitting in the theatre I was afraid of being afraid. I’d hide my eyes or direct my gaze to something else so that I wouldn’t witness what was going on and thus wouldn’t be afraid. But terrified I was and there’s a few key reason why.

1.  The lack of score. That’s right. No stupid creepy, “something’s going to happen right after this chord” music to distract you from what was going on. Part of the thrill was the silence. Sitting in a quiet theatre listening to all the little sounds that go on in the silence, it’s deafening and then BAM! The loudest noise comes out from the speakers, Demon footsteps!!! It’s crazy, and it can give the healthiest person a heart attack, but it works. It was amazing, fucking brutal, but amazing

2.  The POV filming. Think Blair Witch but with a twist, where Blair Witch didn’t have much going on on screen most of the time, Paranormal Activity always had something strange going on. Blair Witch was filmed and edited however the way Paranormal activity was filmed it looked like very little editing went on at all. When they were sleeping or left the room they left the camera running, and the camera just capturing an empty room is in and of itself a scary scary notion, add to that the scary fast forwarding numbers in the bottom right hand screen, the fucked up lighting when they were sleeping and the lack of sound and you’ve got Alfred Hitchcock’s dream.

3.  The Possessed Staring. I will not go into detail of this because I don’t want to relive it.

4. The acting. That Katie can play one fucked up bitch and she really got into her character. She made it SO REAL, the hysterical crying, the possession scenes, the walking when she’s possessed, the paranoia and the fucking ending. SHIT :| And Micha, he did an excellent job as well with his jeering and challenging of the demon, and when he was scared he acted genuinely scared. It freaked me out SO MUCH.

5. You never EVER see the Demon. The mere fact that he remains invisible is genius and scares me even more because I’ll never see it I’ll just feel and hear it there always.

Now for the bad.

1. Micha’s stupidity was a constant reminder that something bad is going to happen so it wasn’t completely unpredictable. Also his tough guy attitude and the fact that he stomped around saying “Don’t worry baby, imma take care of everything,” reminded me of the Village people and frankly the last thing I wanted to see on screen that night was a macho macho man!

2. The ending… only because I heard of the original ending and I think that would have been less Hollywood and more unique, scary – this could actually be a real documentary – type ending.

3. Demon footprints. Really com’on really?

4. Big white teddy bear in the closet. You have NO IDEA how many times I saw that stupid teddy bear and jumped like a bitch.

Okay I’m actually too scared to finish this review because I’m replaying key scenes in my head and it’s scaring the fuck out of me. So just take my word for it, this is one movie that’s going to have you shit on your toes. I hope you make it to your local theatre citizens and watch it and for those that don’t think it’s scary… TELL ME HOW NOT TO BE SCARED ANYMORE!!! Please?

And Gayby Makes Controversy

And Tango Makes Three

clip_image002Author:
Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell

Published:
Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing 2005

Number of Pages:
34

Review:
“There they snuggled together and like all other penguins in the penguin house, and all the other animals in the zoo and all the families in the big city around them, they went to sleep.”

After listening to a CBC Radio One’s interview with the authors of this beautiful story and hearing that it was the most controversial book of this century I would say (in fact it’s the most banned book of 2009) I went and bought myself a copy to read to my little cousin who was coming over that weekend. Needless to say, with the simplistic words, engaging story line and vivid pictures she was enthralled and rightly so. It is enchanting and charming and most importantly true. Yes my friends, this story is indeed based on real life events about two loving homosexual male penguins and their quest for a family.

The penguins, Roy and Silo, fell in love at a very young age, and while there were many female companions available at the zoo they only had eyes for each other. They were partners for 2 years before they tried to build a nest, and following their natural instincts they tried to hatch an egg, but of course the egg was just a rock (for two male penguins cannot produce an egg). Seeing their heartbreaking efforts to start a family the zookeepers brought them an egg that was no longer being cared for and both males nurtured and cared for the egg until it hatched. The female, Tango, certainly made this family of three complete.

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I am a huge advocate for this picture book. It teaches compassion, it teaches love, diversity and most importantly it teaches that not everyone lives in the “nuclear” family (perhaps we can call gay families secular families?). Of course after reading this book to my cousin she had many questions. How can she have two daddies? Where is her mommy? Does she have two mommies too? I proceeded to answer, to the best of my abilities. It is so important for people to teach their children that not everyone is exactly like them, that they will come into contact with someone who is homosexual eventually in their life and that they should not judge them but instead embrace them.

This book, as mentioned above, is in fact the most banned book of this year and it has been generating hatred since its release in 2005 from religious and hate groups alike, groups that feel this book is a threat to the “American” way of living and an insult to the great God himself. Yes I’m back to talking about Big Jebus in the sky. These silly, uneducated, boorish broods who refuse to look at the overwhelming evidence, nay FACTS, that homosexuals are biologically engineered to be the way they are, chuck Bible quotations left right and centre and can’t seem to realize that they’re pitching to the outfield while everyone’s moving towards the short stop. I’m sorry but one cannot logically use Bible quotations (or any holy book quotation for that matter) to make an argument in the 21st century. It’s just not possible because for every one quotation that one can find valid there are a hundred scientific facts to prove that they are not. If one chooses to have these quotations taken seriously they’d have to take other quotations seriously too like um … say killing your neighbour if he steels your goat! These evangelists need to be coerced into watching Religulous for one month, 24 hours every day. There is no excuse to let people use religion to ban a book for children especially if that said book was harmless and educational.

And what about the stupid people, schools, cities, bookstores, and countries that banned this book? What the fuck? It’s a children’s book about gay couples. Reading this book will not make you or your children gay. I repeat READING THIS BOOK WILL NOT MAKE YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN GAY!!!! I read it; I still like my humans with dicks. What is your fear here people? Please enlighten me. Are you afraid that if you read this book to your 4 year old son he’s going to grow up and become a sparkly fairy? Or that your daughter, after reading this book, might start to fancy breasts? Or are you just afraid of the fact that your idea of a perfect society is being challenged? Having to deal with the fact that your child is going to go to school with a gaybe who has two mommies or two daddies scares the shit out of you and rather than put the situation into simple terms and explain to the child that every family is different, you’d ban books and teach them hatred. Well here’s a big FUCK YOU too all of you out there who teach hate!!!

Okay I went off topic.

The point is: this book is definitely worth the read and your children as well as yourself will enjoy the story and the time you share with each other.

And for those of you who hate on homosexuals:

WWPD

Yoga, the word itself once instilled a sense of tranquility and inner peace with those who dared to utter it, but in the 21st century yoga seems to have another meaning attached to it: consumerism. Lately it seems that more and more marketing schemes are being thought up to target aspiring and lifelong yogis. Magazines are written and produced entirely about yoga to attract the yoga community and while I am guilty of buying them (and I quite enjoy the articles) what I don’t enjoy is the continuous pushing of advertisements after every other page. Ads telling me that I’m wearing the wrong yoga pants; that Lululemon is the best there is to offer in the business, ads telling me that my $14 yoga/palates mat is inferior to the $100 Manduka mat that “serious yogis” would get.

When did yoga stop being a spiritual escape? When did it turn into a luxury? I blame the media darlings for this, the Madonna’s and the Demi Moore’s. Their constant praise did bring yoga to the forefront but it also brought corporations knocking on every yogis’ door asking them if they’d like the purchase the newest product from the newest company so that they can be stylish at that new fancy yoga studio that just popped up in their neighbourhood last week. Granted yoga is an amazing exercise and spiritual experience but can you really benefit, truly benefit, from yoga if your instructor was taught yoga in a 4 day retreat and works at LA Fitness. And what about the studios that pop up everywhere, as mentioned before. There is a new studio in my neighbourhood every 3-4 weeks offering what the other studios have to offer with the same 4 day trained “professionals” who claim to be the best of the business.

That word business, being associated with yoga, it just makes me cringe. You see I think of yoga as a deeply personal release of all things unwanted within the body and mind. It’s a chance to escape reality and get in touch with yourself and who you are. Calling something that’s supposed to insure personal growth and wellbeing a business, well that’s just wrong. And it’s not just yoga; personal health IS a booming business in the western world. Gyms, studios, fields are all being erected at an alarming rate so that businesses can tap into family homes and tell them: “I’m sorry lady/gentleman but the sidewalk just isn’t the best place to run seeing as our gym has the state of the art equipment to keep you motivated and on track,” or, “your carpeted floor is not a place to practice yoga, no sir, this prim and posh studio is where real yogis release their spiritual energies.”

I don’t see the point in letting corporations dictate what we need, and blur the line between need and want. I, as a consumer, like to spend my money on things I NEED and try not to spend on the things that corporations tell me I need. I want a Manduka mat, because it’s what the professionals use, and it’s expensive (more money = better) and it’s Manduka, the brand itself entails self value and boosts my worth so when I walk into a yoga studio and someone sees that mat I’ll imagine they’ll think I’m a very serious yogi, or that my value is a lot higher than theirs. But, and this is the huge but, Do I need this mat??? Absolutely not, but I am made to believe that I need it. This is how consumerism works to take the simple idea of want and manipulate it into need.

I guess I thought of this topic when I was discussing yoga with a colleague of mine and she happened to mention the new mat she was going to buy when I noticed her current mat sitting there, slightly used but still had a good 6 months left to it. I asked her “well what about that mat?” and she looked at it and turned to me and said, “Well, it’s old, and it’s not Manduka.” When I asked her what does she intend to do with her perfectly good mat, she simply shrugged and said: “throw it away of course.” This is definitely not what yoga teaches its students and the superficial answers she kept feeding me, I knew there was no changing of her corporate corrupted mind, so I offered to take her old mat off her hands when she eventually buys the new NAME BRAND mat. Call me frugal people, but we have to start paying attention to where our money goes and who really has their hands in our pockets because those corps are just praying we’ll get sucked into their system of buying and trashing and buying and trashing. So the next time you pick up a magazine and see an ad stating you need a new camera, when your old camera is perfectly fine and takes great pictures, and all of a sudden your wallet seems a little heavy and your palms begin to scratch, just remember me and think WWPD (what would Phoenix do).

White Houses Cover

So about six months ago I decided that I was going to sharpen my piano skills. I haven’t touched a piano since 1999 and I literally forgot how to play the scales. In fact I was so bad I couldn’t find C and for all those that play the piano you’ll know C is the easiest note to find. Well I couldn’t believe that I lost my ability to play this beloved instrument.

Why did I stop you say? The answer is simple, I wanted to rebel. I wanted to rebel against my parents who said piano will benefit me in many areas of my life and will keep me occupied as I get bored very often. I wanted to rebel against my piano teacher who said that I was very talented and gifted and he wanted to enrol me in a prestigious and highly respected school of music, and I wanted to rebel against this idea of a perfect child, the one with the straight A’s that goes to piano lessons and can play Bach from memory, who reads well above her reading level and goes to football, skiing and softball practices on the weekends. I just didn’t want to be the perfect all Canadian child and it started with me quitting piano.

But now that I’m older I realize that my 13 year old self was a dumbass and I should have kept up with my piano lessons as well as several other things I managed to quit in my life.

As I mentioned above I started to relearn the piano, slowly at first, I started with scales and then moved to simple songs like Ode To Joy. I realized that once I started it was slowly coming back to me but it’s not at all like riding a bike. Playing the piano takes certain skills and time to develop those skills and if you stop practicing it takes a very long time to clean the rust out of your performance. It took me 5 months to start playing relatively well and at the time I wanted to learn to play one of my favourite songs: White Houses. And I did just that. It took me a month to perfect the song but I tried to do it justice with my rendition and I documented my efforts via an mp3/video.  I don’t have a video capturing device so the mp3 recorder was the best I could do to record my accomplishments.

So dear reader, I have posted the results to said project on youtube and now I’ve posted it here for your enjoyment, at least I hope you’ll enjoy it. Oh by the way, I sing on the recording too.

I know it’s rough and sketchy and not at all perfect but I’m proud of it and dare I say it’s quite better than some of the other covers out there. But don’t let me judge myself, tell me what you think, I’ll greatly appreciate that!! :D

Take care <3.

Local Sustainable Food… IS SO GODDAMN EXPENSIVE!!!

Today I want to write about this – not as an attempt to debunk a myth, but as a way to shift the perspective on the issue.

The question: Is local and/or sustainably produced food (i.e. organic/low-spray, ethical…) more expensive?

The answer? Of course it is! And so it should be.

You get what you pay for. Feel good food, in the ethical sense of the phrase, costs more to produce. Paying people a living wage, treating the ecosystem with care, and treating animals humanely all costs more – it’s that extra bit of time and labour that the globalized, industrialized, impersonalized food system refuses to afford. Social justice advocates and environmentalists alike should take note: the current food system erodes the very things we stand for, and complaining that “conscious” food is too expensive is like wanting our cake and expecting to eat it too.

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North Americans spend about 10% of their income on food purchases – this is the lowest in the world! How can we expect our ideals to be realized when we are insisting on maintaining the status quo through our refusal back up our vision financially?

Europeans seem to have it at least somewhat more figured out: their governments have re-jigged the system by putting a lot more money into subsidized housing, and on the whole, Europeans tend to rent their homes more than they own. All of this helps in freeing up more dinero for dinner.

Some would say, “Well the globalized system is highly subsidized, can’t conscious food be subsidized instead?” Point well taken and I think this is something we should consider lobbying for. So while we wait for the world’s governments to overhaul the economic system in favour of small & sustainable (it might take a while), let’s consider the ways we can put our money where our mouth is right now – even when purse strings are tight.

1. Redirect more of your disposable income towards food

Cell phones, laptops, ipods, new clothes, travel, eating out, a few too many out at the bar last night… we live in a culture of excess. Downsizing our spending in some areas of our life will allow us to upgrade in others, and it’ll probably make us more human too.

2. Consider conscious food a donation to ‘the cause’

You may not get a receipt for a charitable donation but spending an extra $50 a month on improving people’s lives and the environment sounds like a worthwhile good deed to me.

3. Look at where your current food spending lands

Eating out, buying processed/value-added food, and the not-so-odd “treat” adds up! Not to mention the cost of meat and dairy. Buying whole, unprocessed food, in bulk when possible, is SO MUCH CHEAPER. And did I mention that dried chickpeas cost $1.50/lb? Try tracking what you’re spending for a month and see how it all breaks down. (Just keeping track may make you more conscious of how you’re spending your money.) All the money you save buying dried chickpeas in bulk can begin to go towards dried organic chickpeas in bulk! And that’s just the beginning.

At this point you’re probably thinking, “What about the people who can’t even afford to give charitable donations, or those who don’t purchase the latest gadgets because they can’t afford them?” Another point well taken: it’s true, not everyone has the ability to afford that extra spending. Probably it’s because most of their money is going to paying rent, and possibly feeding multiple people on a low (if even living) wage. The fact that our government has created a system where that kind of disparity exists is heartbreaking. It’s an institutional problem, however, that must be fixed institutionally; farmers’ incomes and the health of our ecosystems around the world should not have to bear the cost of this kind of political shortfall.

Most of us don’t want to support a food system that pays farmers pennies for their food. There is no way that local farmers, or anyone trying to farm sustainably, can compete with that. Nor should they have to. We may not want to pay more for our food, but real food does cost more. Let’s just make sure it’s not the farmers or the environment that bear that cost.

Could These be Lyrics I Smell??

You’re 13 and full of youth
My whole life became your truth
And he watched on as your whole world
Crashed and burned.

An aphrodisiac it seems
You drove temptations
You gave them dreams
While you slumbered in a never ending hell

When I found you My heart stood still
I made you find your own free will
Put you on a path to take you home.

You’re gonna find your way home
Live your life as you intend
On your own

So just
Hold on to your apathy
Fnd out where you wanna be
You’re gonna find you’re way home.

The Feminist’s Dilemma

I’m a proud feminist, as anyone who cares about the plight of women on our planet should be. In many parts of the world, women are still treated as property. They have few, if any, rights and are subject to exploitation, indignities, and violence on a daily basis. As we feminists struggle for an end to female oppression, we must also consider the females that we, ourselves, unknowingly oppress. Dairy cows, though not human, are perhaps the most horribly abused females on the planet. As we fight for human equality, should we not also concern ourselves with how humans exploit the very thing that makes an animal female, that makes an animal a mother?

If you think that statement sounds crazy, it’s likely because you, like most Americans, know little about what goes on in our nation’s dairy farms. (Just last week, PETA released shocking undercover footage from a Land O’Lakes dairy supplier). You may think it’s silly, even offensive, to compare the plight of female humans with that of another species, but keep an open mind as you read further. You may just be surprised.

Let’s first begin with this: all dairy cows are female and have to be pregnant to produce milk. When stated, that fact may seem obvious, but it never occurs to most people that cows produce milk for the same reason all mammals do, to feed their babies. A cow’s gestation period is actually the same as a human being’s, nine months.

Since dairy cows are not afforded the natural act of mating with a bull, they are sent to an area of the farm called “the rape rack.” No joke. There, a metal pipe is shoved inside their vaginas to deposit sperm. Once impregnated, a dairy cow lives in a stall where she can barely turn around. As her fetus grows, she starts producing milk. At this point, a cold mechanical pump is hooked to her udders several times a day to take the milk. On most farms, hormones are given to the cows to make them produce unnatural amounts. More milk = more money for the dairy farmer. This makes the cows’ udders swell enormously, causing horrible pain and infection.
When a dairy cow gives birth, she is only allowed 24 hours with her newborn calf. After that, her baby is taken from her. If the baby is a female, she will most likely become a dairy cow. If the baby is a male, he is sold to become veal. Yes, behind every carton of milk, and every pint of ice cream, is a veal calf. If you’re buying dairy products, you’re directly supporting the veal industry. Indeed, the veal industry couldn’t exist without dairy cows.

Now, just in case you’re unfamiliar with the practices of veal farms, here’s a quick overview. Once veal calves are sold, at just a day or two old, they are chained inside a crate so small they can hardly move. And that’s exactly the point, because the less they can move, the more tender their “meat” will be when they are slaughtered (between 8 and 14 weeks old). Veal calves are also fed an iron-deficient diet so their flesh will be white instead of red or pink. They are often seen licking the metal bars of their crates in search of the iron that would be abundant in their mother’s milk.

Back on the dairy farm, mother cows cry, moan, and bellow for days, sometimes weeks, after their newborns are taken from them. Some have literally broken their necks trying to run after their children. One can only imagine the depression and distress of losing your baby. Since the cow is still producing milk for her calf, the dairy farmer continues to milk her. She will never know what it’s like to nurse the child that lived in her womb for nine months. Instead, her milk will become butter, cheese, cream, and of course milk sold in markets. And when the dairy cow becomes too “spent” after four years of pregnancy after pregnancy to produce milk at sufficient quantities, she is rewarded with a trip to the slaughterhouse, where she will become hamburger. That’s right, between almost all hamburger buns are the remains of America’s spent dairy cows.

Again, I know some may have a problem with comparisons between the suffering of animals and people. But what exclusive right do humans have to the mother-child bond? There is no sure way for us to know what a cow may feel for her newborn, but certainly we can all agree on something called a mother’s instinct. We recognize it in all animals. If a cow’s love is anything close to what a human mother feels for her baby, we can only imagine the emotional pain we are inflicting, and the injustice we are committing.

As feminists, should we not stand up for all females? Should we not cry out in protest when mothers, human or not, are so blatantly exploited?
Or should we remain silent in denial?

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And for what good reason? There is no human dietary requirement for cow’s milk. In fact, when you start to think about it, consuming cow’s milk seems downright unnatural. Humans are the only mammals that drink milk past childhood, and we’re the only species that drinks the milk of another species. Many recent studies now also show that milk may be detrimental to our health. For not only are a substantial number of Americans either lactose intolerant or allergic to milk, but what’s worse is that casein, an animal protein abundant in milk, has been proven to be a powerful carcinogen.

And remember all that talk about calcium and how milk is good for your bones? Well, it’s true that milk does contain around 300 milligrams of calcium per glass, but that’s only because dairy farmers nowadays administer calcium supplements to their cows. You see, cows would naturally eat grass, which contains calcium (as do all green leafy vegetables), but since dairy cows are now primarily fed corn, farmers have to add calcium to their feed, fortifying it, so their milk contains adequate amounts. It should be noted that for all the calcium hype, a cup of collard greens contains even more calcium than a glass of cow’s milk and a glass of fortified rice or soy milk matches the calcium content of cow’s milk exactly.

Wonderful sources of calcium are: Leafy Greens, Sesame Seeds, Almond Milk, Broccoli, etc

Today there are amazing alternatives to cow’s milk: almond milk, soy milk, hazelnut milk, oat milk, hemp milk, rice milk, etc. And there are numerous butter and cheese substitutes. Many luminaries through the ages, from Pythagoras to da Vinci to Tolstoy, have reflected on how our treatment of animals influences our treatment of our fellow human beings. Is it just a coincidence that a world that blindly exploits the female in animals also often turns a blind eye to the exploitation, suffering, and oppression of women? Isn’t it time we show compassion to all females, to all mothers, even outside our species?

The Speech I did for my Daddy’s Birthday 2009

Father! – To God himself we cannot give a holier name.
William Woodsworth wrote this quotation over 200 years ago and in this present time, at this very moment it still holds true, for there is no holier a name than that which you call your father.
A father is one who wakes in the middle of the night to change your diaper while your exhausted mother sleeps.
A father is one who carries you on his shoulders when your tired legs can no longer support you.
A father is one who drives around looking for the kind of food you like to eat at 12 o’clock in the morning just because you said you were hungry.
A father is one who takes you to your first dance watching you leave, your heart light and happy while is heart is fearful and heavy for he knows his child is growing up.
A father is one who laughs at your jokes even when they’re not that funny and when you turn 13 and tell him you want to be a comedian he doesn’t laugh but says he’ll support your decision.
A father is one who when you change your mind about being a comedian to do something more academic he lets you because he knows you’ll make the right decision for yourself in the end.
A father is one who talks about his children all of the time so when you meet a friend of his for the first time they already know everything about you including the time you fainted after playing basketball.
A father is one that when you tell him you’re writing a book with your best friend he says he’ll be the first in line to buy a copy.
Such is my father; the kind of man who is irreplaceable in every way possible. This man whom all of you see before you is not just a man to me he is my light, my saviour, my first love and my best friend. He’s supported me through every accomplishment, every failure, every mistake and every bad decision. He bought me my first Barbie Doll and my first bottle of Perfume. He read me stories every night so that my words would one day rival that of the greatest writers ever known.
I am so proud to be standing here in front of all of you today to celebrate my daddy’s 50th birthday. You have no idea how ecstatic I am to tell people my father turned 50 especially when not too long ago we all feared he wouldn’t make it past his 49th, but he did and I know he’ll live out the rest of his century because he’s got way more things to accomplish before he goes.
He has to meet his future son in law and then point out all of his flaws and tell me that he’s not good enough for me, he has to walk me down the aisle towards that same flawed man and give me away, and he has to be there to hold his grandchild for the first time, change her diaper when I’m too exhausted too, put her on his shoulder when her legs are too tired to walk, and he will be. I love you daddy and I hope this birthday is everything you dreamed it to be and then some.

Why I Broke Up With Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist

HowlinPelleAlmqvist2 Sabrina, sits in a normal household setting and speaks directly to the camera.

Bree: I dated Howlin’ Pelle for about… four months? We really hit it off at first, we had the same interests… I thought we really made a good team. We definitely got along.

Cut to a shot of Bree and Howlin’ Pelle sitting at a dinner table.

Pelle: THE HIVES!
Bree: YEAH!
Pelle: THE HIVES!
Bree: YEAH!

Bree: And it wasn’t just that… We’d have some very deep conversations sometimes. He’s an intelligent man. I think…

Pelle: THERE’S A LOT OF STUFF IN THIS WORLD. AND SOME PEOPLE GOT A LOTTA STUFF, AND OTHER PEOPLE DON’T. SOMETIMES YOU GOT NOTHIN’ IN THIS WORLD, YOU GOT NO MONEY, YOU GOT NO GIRL, YOU GOT NO BOY…
Bree: That’s very true.
Pelle: AND SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA SAY [Pelle emits a high-pitched shriek.]

Bree: I don’t want to say he was… egotistical… because I really do like his music. He could just be very…. I don’t know… self-absorbed at times.

Pelle and Bree are sitting at a kitchen table. They say nothing to each other for a moment and avoid eye contact.

Pelle: WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE NEW ROCK ‘N’ ROLL BAND?!
Bree: *sigh* The Hives…
Pelle: I SAID WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE NEW ROCK ‘N’ ROLL BAND?!

Bree: And I really wasn’t sure about a lot of the people he chose to associate with sometimes…

Pelle stands in front of three gentlemen, apparently introducing them to Bree at some sort of social function.
Pelle: THIS IS MY BASS PLAYER, DR. MATT DESTRUCTION! THIS IS MY MY BEST FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL, EXPLOSIVE ED SIMONS! AND THIS IS MY CHIROPRACTOR, TRUCULENT TOM STEVENS! GIVE THEM A HAND!

Bree: I guess I thought I could change him.

Bree: Do you like your coffee with sugar in it?
Pelle: DO YOU LIKE YOUR ROCK WITH PUNK IN IT?!
Bree: Pelle, I don’t even know what that means.

Bree: Eventually we moved in together…

A shot of Bree cleaning a room. She opens a closet and inside it there is about fifteen sets of the black and white suits Almqvist always wears, and nothing else.

Bree: It’s not that he was ever abusive or anything, really…

A shot of Pelle walking around the house twirling his microphone with an intense look on his face. Bree accidentally walks into the microhpone’s orbit and the microphone hits her in the face, knocking her flat.

Bree: He was just… too much, sometimes.

Complete darkness. Groaning and loud, fast thumping can be heard. It intensifies, and then stops. An exhausted sigh, and then…

Bree turns on the lights to the room and sees Pelle in the kitchen with a broom.

Pelle: THE HIVES ARE SWEEPING THE NATION!
Bree: Jesus Christ.

The Facts About Eating Animal Products

The Facts About Eating Animal Products… by John Robbins, author of “Diet for a New America” and founder of Earthsave International.

The Hunger Argument:
Number of People worldwide who will die of starvation this year: 60 million
Number of people who could be adequately fed with the grain saved if Americans reduced meat intake by 10%: 60 million
Human beings in America: 303,824,640
Number of people who could be fed with grain and soybeans now eaten by US livestock: 1.3 billion
Percentage of corn grown in US eaten by people: 20%
Percentage of corn grown in US eaten by livestock: 80%
Percentage of protein wasted by cycling grain through livestock: 90%
Percentage of oats grown in US eaten by livestock: 95%
How frequently a child starves to death: every 2 seconds
Pounds of potatoes that can be grown on an acre: 20,000 lbs
Pounds of beef produced on an acre: 165 lbs
Percentage of US farmland devoted to beef production: 56%
Pounds of grain and soybeans needed to produce 1 pound of feedlot beef: 16 lbs.

The Environmental Argument:
Cause of global warming: greenhouse effect
Primary cause of greenhouse effect: Carbon Dioxide from fossil fuels
More beneficial for global warming–Switching to a Toyota Prius vs. Switching to a Vegetarian Diet: Vegetarian Diet
Fossil fuels needed to produce a meat-centered diet vs. a meat-free diet: 50 times more
Percentage of US topsoil lost to date: 75%
Percentage of US topsoil loss directly related to livestock raising: 85%
Number of acres of US forest cleared for cropland to produce meat-centered diet: 260 million acres
Amount of meat US imports annually from Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, and Panama: 200,000,000 pounds
Average per capita meat consumption in Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, and Panama: Less than eaten by average US house cat
Area of tropical rainforest consumed in every quarter-pounder hamburger: 55 sq. ft.
Current rate of species extinction due to destruction of tropical rainforests for meat grazing and other uses: 1,000 species extinct per year

The Cancer Argument:
Increased risk of breast cancer for women who eat meat four times a week vs. less than once a week: 4 times
Increased risk of breast cancer for women who eat eggs daily vs less than once a week: 3 times
Increased risk of breast cancer for women who eat cheese and butter 3 or more times a week vs less than once a week: 3 times
Increased risk of ovarian cancer for women who eat eggs 3 or more times a week vs less than once a week: 3 times
Increased risk of fatal prostate cancer for men who consume meat, cheese, eggs and milk daily vs sparingly or not at all: 3.6 times

The Natural Resources Argument:
User of more than half of all water used for all purposes in the US: Livestock production
Amount of water to produce a pound of wheat: 25 gallons
Amount of water to produce a pound of meat: 2,500 gallons
Cost of common hamburger if water used by meat industry was not subsidized by US taxpayer: $35/pound
Current cost of pound of protein from beefsteak, if water was no longer subsidized: $89
Years the world’s known oil reserves will last if every human ate a meat-centered diet: 13 years
Years the world’s known oil reserves will last if human beings no longer ate meat: 260 years
Barrels of oil imported into US daily: 6.8 million
Percentage of fossil fuel energy returned as food energy by most efficient factory farming of meat: 34.5 percent
Percentage returned as food energy from least efficient plant food: 328%
Percentage of raw materials consumed by US to produce present meat-centered diet: 33%

The Cholesterol Argument:
Number of US Medical Schools: 125
Number requiring a course in nutrition: 30
Nutrition training received by average US physician during four years in medical school: 2.5 hours
Most common cause of death in the US: Heart attack
How frequently a heart attack kills in the US: Every 45 seconds
Average US man’s risk of death from heart attack: 50%
Risk for average US man who avoids the meat-centered diet: 15%
Risk for average US vegan man: 4%
Amount you reduce risk of heart attack if you reduce consumption of animal products by 10 percent: 9%
Amount you reduce risk of heart attack if you reduce consumption of animal products by 50 percent: 45%
Amount you reduce risk by changing to a vegan diet: 90 percent
Meat, dairy, and egg industries claim you should not be concerned about your blood cholesterol if it is: “normal”
Your risk of dying of a disease caused by clogged arteries if your blood cholesterol is “normal”: >50%

The Antibiotic Argument:
Percentage of US antibiotics fed to livestock: 55%
Percentage of staph infections resistant to penicillin in 1960: 13%
Percentage of staph infections resistant to penicillin in 1988: 91%
Response of European Economic Community to routine feeding of antibiotics to livestock: Ban
Response of US meat and pharmaceutical industries to routine feeding of antibiotics to livestock: Full and complete support

The Pesticide Argument:
Percentage of pesticide residues in the US diet supplied by grains: 1%
Percentage of pesticide residues in the US diet supplied by fruits: 4%
Percentage of pesticide residues in the US diet supplied by vegetables: 6%
Percentage of pesticide residues in the US diet supplied by dairy products: 23%
Percentage of pesticide residues in the US diet supplied by meat: 55%
Pesticide contamination of breast milk from meat eating mothers vs non-meat eating: 35 times higher
What USDA tells us: Meat is inspected
Percentage of slaughtered animals inspected for residues of toxic chemicals such as dioxin and DDT: <0.00004%

The Ethical Argument:
Number of animals killed for meat per hour in US: 500,000
Occupation with highest turnover rate in US: Slaughterhouse Worker
Occupation with the highest rate of on-the-job injury in US: Slaughterhouse Worker
Cost to render animal unconscious with “captive bolt pistol”: 1 cent
Reason given by meat industry for not using “captive bolt pistol”: Too expensive